Be A Mess
by Lethe Seraph
Summary: A parody of the song Be Our Guest from Walt Disney's Beauty and the Beast. Topics covered: yaoi, Mary Sues, flamers, and plenty more. Enjoy.


**Be A Mess**

(an ode to Yu-Gi-Oh! fanfiction)

by Lethe Seraph

Sung to **Be Our Guest** from Walt Disney's **Beauty and the Beast**

_/Italics/_ are spoken words.  I'll add slashes to make it easier. ^_^;; It's best read with the tune either firmly in your head or being played.

**Author's Notes on Opinions (feel free to skip unless planning to flame)**: 

Fanfiction in General - Not all fanfics are bad, just an exceedingly large amount.  I have read a lot of very good fics and a lot of very disappointing ones.  Do not take offense at anything, I'm just poking fun.

Shounen Ai/Yaoi - I love shounen ai.  I adore it.  Jonouchi/Kaiba is a particularly strong obsession of mine.  Just check out my other stories. ^_^;; I don't read lemons, but that doesn't mean they're bad.  It just means that I don't feel comfortable reading them.  (What?  I'm young and innocent. ^_^)

Anzu, Weevil, and Mary Sues - Anzu is okay in my book.  Weevil irritates me.  Mary Sues, in my experience, are not good.  If anyone knows of any good Mary Sue stories (not your own), then feel free to tell me.  

Canon, OOC, AU - Canon is good.  I like canon.  I tend to go OOC a lot of the time, though, and AU.  As a matter of fact, quite a few of my fics are AU.  

…Are any of them canon? ::sweatdrops:: I don't think so.

Angst is fine too.  There's just a lot of it is all.  It's such a large target to hit.

PWP - I _think_ that PWP means "Plot?  What Plot?" but I'm not sure.  Feel free to correct me on this point. ^_^;; If it means something 'wrong', I'll never forgive myself.

Teasing - I have teased characters before.  It's perfectly all right as long as you don't go overboard.  

Fangirls - I *am* a fangirl.  A very enthusiastic fangirl.  Ryou is awesome.  I have been known to squeal when he appears in the reruns.  When he left, I cried.

Warning - This was written in one of my more sarcastic moments.  Don't take me seriously.  And if you do, well, don't deny that I told you as much.

Flames - I don't mind vulgar flames.  They only prove to me the inability of the reviewer to express themselves properly, after all. ^_~ 

Enjoy.

--

_/My esteemed readers, it is with deepest pride and greatest pleasure that I welcome you tonight.  And now, I invite you to relax.  Pull up a chair as Lethe Productions proudly presents – your parody!/_

Be a mess!  Be a mess!  Let me answer your request.  Make Jou go to Kaiba's place and challenge him to play some chess. 

Shounen ai!  Slash galore!  With the angst, you'll ne'er be bored.

Try some canon, it's delicious!  Don't believe me?  /_Ask a purist!/_

We can't spell!  We're OOC!  /_But this is fanfiction; it's hard not to be!/  _And the Mary Sues are great, but I digress-

Go click the 'Just In' menu, take a look, and then you'll be a mess!  _Oui!  _A mess!  Be a mess!

Magic spoons!  Games to play!  Yugi and Yami "en flambé!"  I will dare to serve with flair Malik's Rare Hunter cabaret.

You're alone and you're scared but the flamers are prepared.  Lack of spelling and/or grammar lead to a very irksome spammer!

  __

_/We tell jokes!  I do tricks, with my fellow fangirl chicks./_

And it's all in perfect taste.  That you can bet!

Come on, Jou, touch his [expletive]!  You've won your own free pass to be depressed!  

If you're stressed, it's reviewing we suggest.

Be a mess!  Be a mess!  Be a mess!

Life is so upsetting for a writer who's not getting – they're not whole without a soul who knows they're there.  Ah, to have a grasp of decent knowledge!  Surely there is more to mock than certain people's hair.

_/For years they've been lusting, needing so much more than 'trusting' – needing pain, some death and toxic pills./_

Most days they just work on Anzu bashing.  Giant hammers, wood and plastic!  Look, she's dead!  Ain't that fantastic?

It's a mess!  It's a mess!  Why aren't Ryou or his other dressed?  Wine's been poured, and there's a hoard of teenage girls on Seto's chest.

The best fanfics are PWP.  /_Plots aren't needed, fine by me!/  _While the chibis are 'goo-goo'ing, flames'll be bubbling!  They'll be brewing!

Lemons will get warm, piping hot!  _/The more the better!  I want a lot!  Don't clean it up!/_  We think that 'Caps Lock' is the best!  

We've got a lot to do.  _/Is it one 'o' in' two'?/  _Don't be a pest.

Be a mess!

Be a mess!

Be a mess!  

Be a mess!  Be a mess!  My delight is your request.  You want tears and Weevil's leers and Rex /_and now I'm just obsessed_./

Who cares what their real names are?  As long as Jou's in Kaiba's car!  While the reviewers are still growing, we'll keep going, we'll keep writing bit by bit, one by one!  'Til you shout, /"_Enough.  I'm done!"/ _Then we'll send you off to sleep as you confess - tonight you'll prop your feet up, click the link, and read up!  

  
Be a mess!

Be a mess!

Nothing less!

Please, be a mess!


End file.
